Self-Indulgent Ramblings

I decided to go for a new url… one without my name in the title… so if you’re interested in following my continued exploits, click here.

Okay, I would say that it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged… but that just plain wouldn’t be true.  It’s been a while since I’ve blogged here.  But I’ve also been blogging at work and The Distracted Blog and Rainbow Annie… not to mention the occasional work and rehearsal and work and rehearsal and work and rehearsal.  So if you want to know what I’m doing, I’d suggest looking at the other two.  I am so utterly uninterested in what I am personally doing, that I have very little to say on the subject.  Sad, eh? 

{sigh}

But I did notice that there was still some traffic here (2-4 people a day!)… so I realized that I couldn’t leave my public hanging.  I know that there are people all over the world (Thanks to Dan living in Germany, anyway) who are awaiting my next revelation with complete complacency.  How inconsiderate of me!

So here it is.  Go check out The Distracted Blog and Rainbow Annie.  Especially if you want to read my endless agony over the ridiculous crap storm that IS American politics.  It seems to be all I can talk about, type about, or write bizarre kids’ songs about.

You heard me. 

Here’s a headline from the NY Times Today:

Senate Race that Fizzled Honed Skills for ‘08 Stage

Okay.  Well here’s the teaser copy:

"The 12 months in which Rudolph W. Giuliani and Hillary Rodham Clinton faced each other in a Senate race are as instructive now as they were riveting then." 

Don’t you think that assumes an awful lot?  I’m pretty sure I was in no way riveted by any of their "I love New York!" "No, I love New York."  "You can’t love New York, you’re from Arkansas" BS.  So, if concluding that they’re going to be remotely interesting this time around hinges on whether or not they were interesting last time… well…

Bad news for them. 

Okay.  Today I took a quiz on a website called glassbooth.  The quiz is supposed to tell you, based on your degree of support or opposition to various issues, which presidential candidate is most reflective of your personal views.  Isn’t that nice?  A good way to help make an issue-based decision on who to vote for.  Here are my results:

86% similarity: Dennis Kucinich

86% similarity: Mike Gravel

81% similarity: John Edwards 

So… if I want someone who would represent my beliefs, I have to

• vote for a man who would choose Shirley MacLaine as his child’s godmother and who dances around at presidential forums proclaiming that he is the candidate with "NO STRINGS!"
• vote for a man who is 473 years old, has not held an elected office since 1982… and is possibly only coming to these presidential events for the food
• vote for John Edwards
• write in Stephen Colbert
• move to Canada

You’re not going to believe the direction being given to Santas in Australia.  It would appear that Don Imus stole Christmas.

Well, as we’re approaching the winter holiday season, we’re also approaching the new, exciting tradition of complaining about what the call the holiday season.  Over at The Carpetbagger blog, there’s an amusing and infuriating post about the various and sundry wars that are apparently seeking to destroy every holiday we’ve ever known. 

Now personally, I don’t care if we say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or whatever you want to say.  It seems to me that they’re all pretty positive sentiments, so why bother nitpicking.

But this kinda bugged me.  Apparently Lowe’s has decided to advertise Christmas trees in their catalog as Family trees.  Good times.  The lack of logic in this particular one… are any non-Christians going to be purchasing Christmas trees… thereby necessitating the name change to Family Trees?  Is that going to suddenly inspire legions of Jews and Muslims and Buddhists (oh my!) to rush out and buy their very own family tree so they can perch Vishnu or whoever on the top?  I’m pretty sure we’re all still calling a menorah a menorah.  Maybe if we called it "the eight family candles," everyone else would want to buy one.  Or maybe we could consider applying common sense and picking our battles here and there, eh?

Of course, in honor of all this madness The Distracted Globe will be presenting our Second Annual Politically Correct, Non-Denominational, Winter Holiday Extravaganza in December.   Buckle your seatbelts and deck the halls with boughs of something with no religious significance. 

This past weekend I did something that, only a year or so ago, I never would have thought I’d be able to do. 

Here in Greenville, we have a theatre called The Cafe and Then Some.  They’ve been around for almost 30 years.  Their schtick is a dinner theatre that does original scripts with a stable of colorful characters who lampoon Greenville, Greenvillians, and any other current events they feel need a little nudge.  Their shows run until they stop selling… which can be a very long time.  So sometimes they need to call in other actors to sit in - usually people who have done other shows there before.  Those people hold the script (also part of the Cafe schtick) and play along for the evening.

This time around… it was me.  

I had never done a show there before, but I had done shows with many of the people on stage.  So they called me, they booked me, I watched the show once, they gave me a script, they gave me a practice CD for the songs (which turned out to be blank)… and on I went.  It ended up being great fun.  I got to invent my own character name (Beulah Mae), I nailed a patter song I’d never practiced, I danced wearing a gigantic padded butt, I hissed like a possum, I was funny!… it was kinda cool.  So now, I’m sorta feeling like I can do just about anything.  Pretty cool, eh? 

Well, the day after our exciting city council elections, I am pleased to announce that today is the anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution!  That’s right, the day Lenin overthrew Kerensky.  You’ve gotta love a good Bolshevik revolution, eh?  And you’ve gotta love a teeny touch of irony with your morning coffee.

I have never gone on a vacation.  Not a REAL vacation.  Let me explain:

I have gone on trips with the family.  I have gone on trips to see the family.  I have taken days off of work because I was about to run out of vacation days.  But I have never just gone on a trip for the express purpose of doing something fun for me.

Until this weekend.

This past weekend was the first (and last) weekend that my {gulp} boyfriend and I happened to have off at the same time.  No business trips.  No rehearsals.  No performances.  No {gulp} kids.

Normally, we would spend a weekend like that hanging out around his house, probably catching up on Chuck and Heroes.  (Have you started watching Chuck, by the way?  Because it’s GREAT!)  But I made the decision the week before that we needed to get away.  Even if it was just for one night.  We just needed to do something nice for ourselves.  

So we booked a little B&B in Hendersonville, NC and drove up on Saturday.  We walked around, we ate, we watched the Clemson game, we ate, we drove into Asheville, we drove back, we ate, we saw a movie… it was a very nice day.  Then Sunday we woke up, enjoying our daylight savings hour, and had a great breakfast with the rest of the B&B.  Then we checked out and drove out to the Biltmore Estate… which is frickin’ ridiculous.  We did the audio tour, we ate, we walked the gardens, we ate, we went to the winery, we ate…

It was just plain awesome.  

We had two days where we had no responsibilities, no requirements, no appointments.  We just got to do fun things and enjoy each other’s company.  It really was incredibly refreshing.  Now I see what all those crazy people have been talking about all this time!

Then we drove back to town and had our first rehearsal for the show we’re in now.  And my next trip will be Denver for Christmas.

… I just threw up a little in my mouth.

You know how tired I am of all the extreme bipartisan bullsh*t?  If you’re a democrat, it means you want to kill babies.  If you’re a republican, it means you’re a soulless fascist.  There is no one presenting even a remotely balanced platform, and it makes me want to punch people right in the head.

AND, then there’s all the ridiculous vernacular.  The buzz words the identify people.  The Left says "Pro-Choice and Anti-Choice," the Right says "Pro-Life and Pro-Abortion."  I think it’s pretty safe to say that there is no one in the world who is "Pro-Abortion."

But that’s not my particular bonnet bee today.  

I just read this article about Mitt Romney losing a prominent Baptist endorsement. Okay.  Fine.  They referred to Evangelical endorsements, Conservative endorsements.  Fine. Okay.

Then they talked about the Values Voters Summit, and I decided I had to set things on fire.  People included in the Values Voters Summit are the fundamentalist Christian university Bob Jones University (right here in Greenville… they hate Catholics (me)… and pretty much everyone), and Evangelical Baptists, among others.

I hate all this "values" talk.  Those people sure as crap don’t share my values.  But they’ve painted a big sign that says "Republicans have family values and you bleeding heart liberals hate families and want to hack them into tiny pieces with big machetes and then take a crap on them."  "Values voters" my ass.  We are all "values voters."  We vote according to our individual set of values.  Or we would if there were anyone out there who would be willing to represent real person values instead of overblown cartoon villain values.  What, because I’m more liberal than conservative, my family isn’t important to me?  Clearly a solid piece of logic.

So here’s the thing: you can keep your damn family values.  I’ve got my own. 

This bit of venom brought to you by the fact that we didn’t get any down time between the midterms and the presidential race.  Give us a break already!