Self-Indulgent Ramblings

Last night, my aunt, uncle and three cousins were on the season premiere of WifeSwap. My uncle is one of The Pirate Guys who founded International Talk Like a Pirate Day (which is today). Surprisingly enough, I think the pirates ended up coming off a little more sane than the other family. I wanted to cry for the kids in the other house… they weren’t allowed to be kids at all. The girl had a panic attack at any sign of disorder. She brushes her hair 100 times. It was scary. At least my family enjoys themselves while they’re being crazy. I think the other family was just plain miserable.

Most of my friends ditched out on watching the show with me, but the few of us who did watch had a great time. It was bizarre! But it was definitely worth watching. I’m going to have to see if I can get a copy of it. My {gulp} boyfriend missed it since he was at rehearsal, and I really do feel it’s important that he experience that part of my family tree. Really, aside from the literal dressing like pirates all the time, they were pretty much themselves. And when the organizer lady replaced the Jolly Roger with a flag of herself with her label makers on the house… I think she sealed the deal as the crazy one.

Well… enjoy talking like a pirate today! Make some land-lubber walk the plank or something.

I hate pitching. I’m not usually involved in the new business process. And when I am, it usually ends up pissing me off. Because usually, I only get called in on something really big. And usually, we’re willing to do something totally over the top and against our philosophy to get something really big. And usually, the fact is that we really aren’t prepared to handle something that big, and I would be not only surprised, but incredibly worried if we got it.

So that’s where we are right now. We’re all being forced to drop everything, rearrange our schedules, figure out how to develop an entirely new process, based completely on a gigantic company’s mandate as opposed to the way we actually believe that business should be done.

And of course, this is the only time that the leadership starts enforcing deadlines and accountability. Not on our actual clients. No. With them we’re all touchy-feely and over-budget and “whenever inspiration strikes.” But now, we’re cancelling meetings and pooling resources for our “best thinking” and turning the damn place upside down… over a pitch that we’re not going to get.

I understand that it’s important to go after bigger clients, and sometimes concessions need to be made in the interest of building a longer term relationship and money and tra la la. I do. But, frankly, we’re not going to get this. And if we do, we’ll be in way over our heads… and it’ll bite us on the ass.

We like to talk a lot of lofty ideals, but the sad fact is, we will sell out and lick the boots of the big guys just like anybody else.

Okay, it’s that time of year again. That time when the obscure little holiday created by my uncle and his pal Mark (who kinda looks like Meatloaf) scourges the globe. Yup. It’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Or it will be next Tuesday. That’s right… September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day… and it’s really become quite the phenomenon. Yesterday I got an email from Amazon.com highlighting pirate books for the week of International Talk Like a Pirate Day… and they didn’t even feature the book my uncle wrote! It was a totally independent recognition of the holiday! AND next week wordsmith.org is going to feature pirate words all week… submitted by guest wordsmith My Uncle John “Ol’ Chumbucket” Baur. AND… as an ITLAPD Eve celebration, my uncle John, aunt Tori (Mad Sally) and their three still-at-home kids (I don’t think the three older ones are in the episode) are going to be featured in the season opener of Wife Swap. Yup. Wife Swap. Monday, September 18th. 9/8c. Holy crap. They also have numerous appearances and interviews, as has become a pretty regular occurence in the last few years. (My uncle is sporting a variety of different haircuts in the various pictures on his website… so I have no idea what he actually looks like now… or what he’ll actually look like on TV Monday night.)

So there ya go. Share my family’s joy.

Actually, my part of the family thinks it’s all kinda funny. But there are factions in my family who find it absolutely atrocious and take it way too seriously and get all pissed off. Me - I think it’s just one of those bizarre occurences that could only happen to the Oregon Baurs. So swash your buckles, and get set for some serious pirate talking!

I moved this weekend… which means that there was a lot of lifting and carrying. So, when my back started bothering me Sunday night, I thought nothing of it. Probably pulled something or whatnot. I was awfully manly and spry, with all the lifting and carrying. At any rate… the pain was so bad I barely slept Sunday night. But I took some Tylenol and went to work. By the time I went home for lunch… I could barely stand. So, I called the doctor (something that I never used to do… but as sickly as I’ve been this year, I may as well put my doctors on speed dial). My {gulp} boyfriend drove me to the office… what with the being doubled over in pain and all… where I was told that I did not, in fact, have a back injury. Instead, I had a kidney infection.

Hoo-frickin’-ray.

So I’ve got all kinds of funky drugs now. Good times.

You know, I have never been a sick person (well… not physically, anyway). I used to get one cold a year. I could pretty much count on being please-kill-me-now sick the second week of February every year. But this year has just been ridiculous. I’ve had colds, mold allergies, biopsies (nothing serious, don’t worry), kidney infections… What The F@*$?!?! I am 27 years old and I’m falling apart! Of course, my {gulp} boyfriend has had a lot of weird ailments since we started dating too. It ranges from him catching my colds to poison ivy, kidney stones and a sprained ankle (which he managed to do the day before I moved… very convenient!). I think that we have some adverse effect on each other’s immune systems.