Self-Indulgent Ramblings

I had this friend in college, Wendy, who spent her time deciding what muppets our professors would be. Or, if each faculty member were to snap and go on a homicidal rampage, what would be their method of choice. My friend Justin and I have been amused by this, so we started doing the same thing for our coworkers. I had thought that I would be something along the line of a slow poisoning or something planned out and subtle like that. But lately, with the angst I have been having at work, I think it might be more along the lines of just going completely mental and axe murdering everyone. We did have a brief discussion about drowning today… but I’m sticking with axe murder. Mainly, it’s a funnier line to deliver. “I’m going to axe murder that guy.” is just funnier than “I’m going to drown that guy.” Subtle differences. Really, though, what it boils down to is the fact that I am increasingly frustrated with my job… but I have no way out. I am on contract until August… so I can’t leave before then without a financial challenge. And what do I do next? I have no plans. I have no ideas. I want to get the hell out of Greenville… but my {gulp} boyfriend can’t leave Greenville… so suddenly leaving Greenville is a much more difficult and emotional decision than it would have been this time last year (Yes… we are coming up on a year with the {gulp} boyfriend. Weird.). I am stressed in meetings, I am stressed after meetings, I am stressed all the damn time. My blood pressure feels so high, I’m surprised blood hasn’t shot out of my ears yet. My stomach is always in knots. In high school, I had some friends who decided I was the most likely among us to have a stroke before age 30. Well… I’m 27.

But where to go? What to do? I don’t feel ready to audition for grad school again. I don’t know where else I would work in Greenville. I’ve become addicted to this pesky paycheck… I’m just at my wits’ end.

And my cat is feeling awfully neglected.

On the bright side… I plugged in the Christmas lights on my desk today. I just knew when I got here this morning that I was going to need something to make me smile today.

I’m sitting here watching the Clemson/Carolina game with my {gulp} boyfriend… and, as you know, commentators refer to players largely by last name. Well… Carolina has several players who I feel the need to meet and openly taunt. Mychal Belcher, Ryan Succop (pronounced suck-up) and Chris Smelley.

Childish? Yes. So sue me.

Okay, I’m a vegetarian, so Thanksgiving has never been a huge deal for me. But this year I had a particularly great one. Some friends of mine hosted an orphans’ Thanksgiving at their house… There were about a dozen of us just hanging out… it was just really great. Their 5 year old daughter was (as usual) a highlight for all of us… whether she was out front pulverising one of the bricks in the walk with a hammer (”I’m fixing it!”), plucking her kid-sized guitar like a stand-up bass, performing an interprative dance or speechifying on how much her parents love her… she just added so much life to the whole day.

And, of course, Thanksgiving is sort of the unofficial beginning of the madness that is the Christmas season. In my house, it means my Dad playing Feliz Navidad, Happy Xmas (War is Over) and Colorado Christmas on a continuous loop for the next month. I’ve got most of them on my computer now, but I can’t find my John Lennon CD… so my Christmas season has not yet officially begun.

I’m not exactly sure what to say about this article… except wow.

“Evangelical Ousted in Gay Sex Scandal.”

That’s just good writing.

Anyway… remember to vote tomorrow - and make sure to vote no on any ridiculous marriage amendments you may come across. (Here in SC - it’s Amendment 1… see their website for more info.)