Self-Indulgent Ramblings

Last night I was hanging out with some friends, sitting on their front porch and drinking screwdrivers (and eventually Vodka and Fresca, once the orange juice was gone. I am way too old to be doing that on a Wednesday.). Anyway, while we were sitting there, their precocious 5-year-old daughter decided to perform a play for us - The Play of the Two Fairies (Honestly, I’m not sure we ever got to the fairies…). Anyway, as the story progressed, she would command that I narrate the activities and she would fill in the dialogue. It was pretty involved. My favorite part of the story (aside from the part when we all became abrasive Irish characters who wouldn’t cooperate with the narrative flow and instead tried to eat her and her horse) was when she encountered a fox. This fox was in her way and didn’t want to let her by. So, this sweet, beautiful nymph of a girl looked at the imaginary fox and said, “If you don’t let me pass, I’ll set you on fire.”

The fox moved.

Most of the time, I don’t really notice that I’m in the south beyond the occasional “might could” or “darlin’.” But every now and then someone steps and up makes me cringe. Last night was one such night. I was in Atlanta with some coworkers and clients heading to this fancy-schmancy restaurant. As we were working our way through the rush hour midtown Atlanta traffic, we passed another restaurant which inspired conversation about another restaurant. I wish I could remember which, because if I could… I would think nasty thoughts about them all day long. Our client started explaining that when the nice new restaurant of which he was speaking opened, they were worried about getting too many African American guests… so they refuse walk-in traffic and only take reservations… and they try to phone screen the diners. They don’t screen out African Americans entirely. People would notice that. Instead, once they reach their quota… they simply tell them that they have nothing available. And the guy was defending this practice! He actually seemed to think it was okay to “keep it from getting too hip hop in there.”

ARE YOU S***ING ME?!?!

I dutifully tuned out at that point, because I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep my thoughts to myself, and it’s not really kosher to yell at clients… or so I’m told.

You know, I’ve complained before about seeing a movie that you expect to be one thing and then it’s something else. Well, last night we tried for a movie again… we were on time contraints because my {gulp} boyfriend had a late rehearsal, so I looked up movies that were playing… most of which I had never heard of. So I watched several movie trailers. And I settled on one that looked like a quick, quirky romantic comedy. Sounds like nice, light Friday night fare. Well, we went to see The Ultimate Gift… and I really almost walked out at the beginning when the logo for the producing studio came up: FoxFaith. But I decided to stay. And the first half of the movie toddled along at a nice clip. Some funny moments, not bad. But then we got to the propaganda. The precocious little girl wasn’t just a precocious little girl… she was a precocious little girl with Leukemia. And she wasn’t just a precocious little girl with Leukemia… she was a precocious little girl with Leukemia who liked to sit in the chapel and think about what heaven would be like. Her illness and death were so manipulative… “We know we’re going to make you cry. Watch us.” (I didn’t cry. I just rolled my eyes.) James Garner made his appearances as the God allegory, the young man learned a valuable lesson and inherited the whole kingdom. The powerful lawyer decided to retire so that he could follow the young man. And the young man used his money to build a hospital in memory of the precocious little girl (complete with ridiculously heavy handed take to the camera reminding us that the the hospital included, “Oh… and of course… a church.”

We should have watched Jim Carrey kill people.

Okay, this is from the 70s, so I can’t get too worked up about it. But come on! “Stay thin so your hard-workin’ husband will still love you when he’s not there.”

Makes me want to kill people.

Okay… I know I seem to complain a lot about this (see here and here)… but everyone around me is pregnant or just gave birth. April and Amanda just had babies, Katie and Virginia and Daneen are preggers… and I am so tired of hearing about babies, I just might explode. I’m sitting here listening to Amanda and Virginia comparing pregnancies… frankly I think that Amanda’s a little jealous that Virginia’s pregnant. I think she kinda misses it. And that’s all well and good, and I’m glad she’s happy and I’m glad Virginia’s excited and I’m glad for all of them… but OH MY GOLLY GOSH! My uterus doesn’t care! My uterus wants to reside in a land very far from baby city. And it doesn’t want to be judged for feeling that way!

My uterus is apparently procrastinating a lot today, since this is my second post.

Suffice it to say… the whole thing still bugs the crap out of me.

Okay… I’m trying to come up with a concept for the show I’m directing this summer: Much Ado About Nothing. I have this inkling of an idea, so I decided to go rent some movies in the style I’m thinking of to see if I get the right feel… unfortunately, I’m looking for old movies - not The Jazz Singer old. We’re talking 1949, 1952, etc. And what do I find? No one carries them anymore! If you’re looking for something black and white, you might be able to find The Philadelphia Story, but that’s about it. First was Blockbuster… nothing. Then was Movie Gallery… nothing. Obviously, anything without bitchin’ special effects is just not worth our time. So, I’ve done the thing that I hoped not to do: I enrolled in NetFlix. I didn’t want to just buy all of these movies, so I took the NetFlix plunge. My first movie should be mailed today. I wonder how long it all takes. I must admit, it’s a little exciting (or it would be if I could muster any sort of emotion other than “BLAH” today). A whole new way of dealing with movies. Maybe I’ll take full advantage of it. And maybe I’ll end up paying $10 a month for the privilege of knowing I could rent a movie if I wanted to. Who knows. I love a good experiment.